Like you no more

I want to like you but I don’t want to anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to, entirely, but I think I have to not like you. I don’t know why. Maybe I feel bored. Maybe I got tired. Maybe I don’t want it to be one sided anymore.

I want you to like me the way you liked her. Maybe not exactly the same, but like me for who I am. Not on what I’ve showed you. I didn’t regret anything but I’m kinda disappointed in myself because I let you like me for that.

I liked you. I liked you a lot. A lot, a lot. But I don’t want it to be this way.

Tubig

Hindi lang pala sa Maynila ang may problema sa tubig. Pati rin pala dito sa Cebu, pinoproblema rin nila.

Kanina, nang naghihintay kami na magkatubig, tila parang nawawalan na ko ng pag-asa. Ngunit nalaman kong narito pala ang aking kaibigan at nagbaka-sakaling payagan kaming makiligo sa kanila tinutuluyan. Sa kasawiang palad ay hindi kami pinahintulutan.

Pagkatapos ng ilang oras ay nagkaroon na ng tubig, kahit ito ay mahina. Habang ako’y naliligo, napapa-isip ako sa kanilang sistema ng tubig. Bakit sa mga hotel at sa ibang establishimento ay patuloy ang daloy ng tubig ngunit sa mga kabahayan ay nawawalan? Sinuhulan ba nila ang kumpanya upang sila ang paboran ng tubig? Siguro ay nag-iisip lang ako ng kung ano-ano. Pero may posibilidad ngang mangyari ito? Malalaman pa ba natin ito? Baka hindi na.

Surprise!

Di ko naman inexpect na mangyayari yun. I mean, may mga kilala akong may galit sakin. Na inis sakin. Pero di ko alam na sobrang dami pala. Well kasalanan ko rin kasi binuksan ko pa yun. There’s a part of me that shouldn’t have opened it but there’s also a part of me that’s kinda proud cause I didn’t stoop to their level. I’m just surprised that he/she would say those. I mean, sige inis/irita ka sakin. Pero wag mo naman akong bastusin. Ginawa ko naman lahat ng makakaya ko na maging mabuting class president sa inyo at kaibigan. Di ko naman pinapamukha na nakakataas ako sa inyo. If I have offended you, then I’m sorry. You should’ve/could’ve approached me and tell me that you hate me. 

 

To be honest, may takot na kong pumasok this coming sem. Actually di ko alam kung anong mangyayari sakin. Minsan kasi, iiwas na lang ako sa mga tao para di ako masaktan. Tipong papaka-loner ba, para wala na kong masaktan at para di na rin ako masaktan. Pero wala eh, kahit anong gawin ko, may incident pa rin na parehon kaming maapektuhan. Sobrang tarantado ko bang tao na kailangan babuyin? Oo mukha akong baboy pero grabe naman yung mga sinasabi niya. Sabi ko ichat ako, pero wala. Takot ata. Wala naman akong planong sugurin ka kasi ano naman magagawa ko kung galit ka sakin diba? Kung sobrang naiirita na kayo sakin. Kung sino ka man, sorry kung nagago kita. Sana naman wag mo kong husgahan ng sobra agad. Di kita kilala, di mo rin ako kilala. So wag namang ganon. Sorry kung nabackstab kita or nabangga kita. Or nasigawan kita or nayabangan ka sakin. Pero sana naman respetuhin mo ko. Rinerespeto ka kahit sobrang ginagago mo ko at takot kang magpakilala. Sana masaya ka sa buhay mo. Thank you ha. 

Strangers

It’s fun going to the mall and go shopping with your mom or your friends. Suddenly, you see a guy who caught your attention because of the way he dressed. It was a mix of cool and swag, in an attractive way. You stare at him. Looked away when you saw that he kinda noticed you were staring. You sneak a peek at the corner of your eye to see if he does the same thing. You pretend to look at some clothes just to be nearer to him and have a clearer view of him. You walk a few steps away to see he is also looking for you. As your mom drags you away from him, there’s a feeling of regret and disappointment. Wondering what would happen if you would say hi to him or vice versa. These are one of the times when you want to dispose all of your shyness and have to guts to walk up to him and say, “Hi. I saw you from across the racks and I think your cute.” Of course it would be awkward and weird but what if he felt the same way. What if he would ask for your number and eventually go on a date.

You walk farther and watch as he disappears to the sea of shoppers. Admit it, it hurts to see and realise that you would never see him again. A stranger you felt you had a connection with. A stranger you felt, for once in your life, was actually attracted to you. I guess that’s just how people get through you. With a few moments, he has already made you happy and sad at the same time.